We all know that time moves rapidly and we all need to keep pace with the time, otherwise we may lag behind.
Today’s parenting is different rather then more difficult from what we had 20-30 years ago. If we recall our own times, our parents used to have more time for their kids, there was mostly a joint family system where other family members used to lend a hand in the bringing up of a child, there was no social media attack at that time, there was less stress for students in schools and there was comparatively less competition in the market. Children at that time used to have more time for physical activities as there were no serious security issues and concerns.
Now, it’s hard to bring that time back, rather we do not want to bring that time back as our new generation wouldn’t survive in that time frame. Therefore, the best solution is to keep pace with the time and changing ourselves as required.
It is a fact that no parent is perfect and hence neither is the child. Moreover, there are no quick fixes to good parenting and on the other hand, good parenting is also not a rocket science. Therefore, if we focus-on and follow some basic principles, then good parenting is possible. I’m going to suggest few things based on my experience of 27 years in the field of education and 20 years of parenting.
First of all, we all need to understand that every individual is different. You know that there are 7.6 billion people in the world and no two individuals are the same, even identical twins are not the same. Therefore, when people are not the same, then why try to compare them? I want to say that please do not do compare your children with each other or with other children and treat every child as per his or her abilities.
Second thing is this that please give quality time to your children and enhance communication with them, please sit with them, play with them, laugh with them, go on excursions and so on. Especially, I would request male parents to give time to their children. And I would request mothers not to portray fathers (especially in our Pakistani culture) as, the ‘horrible’ person whose duty it is to fix everything in terms of children behaviour.
Third thing and this is my personal request to all parents, please do not send your children to tuition centers or academies or do not leave them to the mercy of tutors. Please try to get them into a habit of self-study. This will reap huge benefits when your child goes to senior classes or professional colleges and universities. Your job is to create an environment for self-studying and making them sit and then, not to disturb them in between rather facilitate them to do study with full concentration and devotion (I mean mobile, tv etc should not be disturbing them during study time).
Then, both parents ought to be accommodating and should have a good harmony and couple-work parenting is teamwork. Both have duties and rights in the good bringing-up of the children.
Role modeling is the next, the best way of teaching things to children is doing things ourselves. We can’t give the lesson of care to our children if we snub our maid every now and then in front of our children. The best way of making children learn about charity is to help the poor in front of them or helping poor through them.
Last thing is this that avoid giving physical punishment to your child rather make your words so impressive that you need not do that. Gone are the days when the proverb like, ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ was useful. You know that to err is human, but teach your child not to repeat mistakes. Parents should make their tongue and words more powerful than their hands. Children who are spanked, smacked or hit are more prone to fighting with other children. They are more likely to become bullies and to use verbal and physical aggression to solve disputes.
We know that no one is perfect, but we should have good intent to do things nicely. If intent is good, then the end product will also be good.